101 tips on how to move humans from South Africa to Spain, Engela style... (102 tips on moving two Rhodesian Ridgebacks to follow...)

I have a few pointers that can help, for those of you who may be interested, it worked for us; it may not work for you:

1.    Ensure you work for a company that will close down. To be very sure that you choose such a company, study two degrees, work 15 hour days and if possible, it should be a research and development company for Energy resources, which employs close to 1000 people.  If you have done this, skip this tip.

 

2.    Understand the lingo.

Words like “I have an interview at Eskom” can loosely be translated to “some Spanish company called me, and I have a job in Madrid”.

Also, and this is important, terminology like “I will go back to South Africa with you to pack up the house, settle and move the dogs, sell what we need to, pack the various items that need to go all over South Africa to family and friends, and be involved in the three day home invasion of the moving company” means “You’re on your own love. Sorry, here is a glass of wine”. For more such translations, contact me, I have a couple of chapters.

3.    Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork...

“They” will need proof that you are who you say you are, blood tests are not sufficient. It could mean you may need to find the doctor who delivered you, but then he has to prove he knows you, photographs and video recordings may help of that event. Handwriting and signatures are important, so please retain your primary school books.

Marriage and birth certificates are also of vital importance, but there is an evil conspiracy about, and no, it has nothing to do with the difference (which I still don’t understand) between abridged and unabridged birth certificates (which on this point is just a money making evil scheme), but rather with the fact THAT IT IS NOT IN SPANISH. This could mean a nine month delay on paperwork or your life as some people call it. It does not help to explain to your host foreign country that no one speaks Spanish in South Africa. The Angels of the Emigration Company in Madrid dealt with this conundrum; I don’t even want to know how.

4.    Moving countries does not take a week or two. Nonsense. It takes a couple of vineyards and one or two little chocolate and chips factories.