The adventures of the red dogs in Madrid – Chapter 1

One day out of the blue, two innocent (not so little) red dogs were put in a white tube that moved a lot and next thing they knew, they arrived in a very hot little town called Madrid. What were their human slaves thinking?

And so began the adventures of the two red dogs. Some highlights thus far, to bring other potential human slaves up to speed:

THE VET:

The Vet has never seen such big dogs. She appears to be afraid. As such, the red dogs bump her, step on her and to show the “Vet” (known to the red dogs by her true name, namely “THE ONE WHO HAS THE INJECTIONS HIDDEN AMONGST TREATS, WE ARE NOT FOOLED”) that they know her evil plans, knock over all the goodies in her shop/rooms. Surely this human slave should know space should be left for the red dogs to run, jump, sniff and wag their tails? Duh.

The Vet calls her boyfriend to help her when the red dogs are being examined. Human slaves can be so gullible, if they only knew that with a little leg of lamb, the red dogs are sluts.

Because the red dogs are big (usually accompanied with a small shriek), but “oh so good”, they get treats at the Vet. Little does the Vet know that by sweet talking the red dogs, and rubbing their ears and tummies, they will also pretty much jump through hoops. So for treats, the red dogs will lie down and be quiet.

THE RED DOGS GARDEN:

The human slaves have been trained well; they had to look for a house with a garden. The red dogs don’t care that in Madrid a house with a garden is like trying to find Mrs. Balls Chutney in Spain, that’s why they have human slaves.

Because the red dogs needs a place to wee, to do their number two and roll around in, their human slaves bought grass and spent two weeks of hell trying to get the grass in. To show that the grass which the human slaves bought is just not on par, the red dogs do dig it out. In clumps.

The female human slave is trying to fool the red dogs by leaving some mint in the garden to cover the ungodly smells that she alleges emanate from their “number two’s”. The red dogs however have figured this out and find that aiming for the mint bushes crushed those dreams. So the human slaves must do that what they were born to do, pick up after the red dogs so that the grass is clean and pristine for the next bathroom visit.

THE FROG MARCH:

The red dogs have quickly figured out that by running up and down the stairs, farting and stepping on the human slaves’ feet and any other body parts that could be close to their level (which includes knees, legs etcetera), will result in the human slaves agreeing to be dragged all over the little town. Again, human slaves are gullible.

The youngest red dog has also perfected “the frog march”, which in layman, slave, terms means that as soon as the leash is on her, she puts her head down, and pulls, with all her might, to such an extent that her hind legs look like two body builders. This frog march continues until the youngest red dog is sure the human slave cannot return to the red dogs’ house for at least 30 minutes, which would include running time. She will then relax for about 2.2 seconds, and then proceed with the frog march again, since the human slave has to understand that she is entertaining the human slave by agreeing to drag the human slave all over town, she had no problem staying under her blanket on her bed the whole day.

POTENTIAL SPANISH HUMAN SLAVES:

The jury is still out on potential Spanish human slaves. Both red dogs have tried to eat Spanish builders, internet/telephone installers and other folk that deliberately plan to walk past the gate in front of the red dogs’ house. What the red dogs have established thus far is:

1.    Builders and installers jump high, and fast. This is quite entertaining and as such, the red dogs are trying to find the next Spanish human victim that can leap and clear the outside wall.

2.    The other folk may already have a Spanish dog as their Boss. As such, the red dogs will give the Spanish dogs a blood curling stare, advise them that their human slaves are superior and that Spanish human slaves will never be on standard. The red dogs don’t care that Spanish dogs can only speak Spanish, those other dogs and their slaves can learn Afrikaans.

And so, the adventure continues further tales (and tails) to come...